Dropping the hanky… set the mood: extraordinary machine – fiona apple

June 15, 2006 at 2:46 pm Leave a comment

“How to get the Guy”

I’m watching this show, title mentioned above, about teaching women how to pick up, flirt, do all those things I don’t get. I mean, I get them, they just seems totally stupid.

1. Eye contact.
Four seconds. I don’t think I’ve ever looked at someone for longer than one second. They’ve sent this chick into a book store, because apparently that’s a prime location to pick up men. I’ve spent plenty of time in book stores, being a book fiend, and I can’t see this to be the case. Maybe I’m too concerned with books to be looking for men. In eastern cultures I believe that eye contact is almost frowned upon – I feel I would perform better in said societies.

2. Smiling.
I don’t get it. I see people who smile all the time, and I question that. I think “are you on prozac? Do you have a blood sugar problem?” What’s with the constant smiling? I was in a bar with a friend the other night, and this guy opened with “You should smile more.” See? NOT smiling attracts men, too. He tried hitting on me for ten minutes, and then I had to leave because I wasn’t really interested – although, knowing me, even if I were interested, I’d have probably walked away as well, since that seems to be my thing.

I wish that women could go back to the dropping the hanky manuever – sure it seems obvious and perhaps a little desperate, but it leaves everything up to the guy. All this flirting bullshit just bothers me, because I don’t want to look like a skank for hitting on someone who either has a partner (and I use that word because I’m often drawn to gay men) or just doesn’t dig my style.

Its so frustrating because I look at guys who are dating chicks, and all the girls are skanky, somewhat awkwardly shaped (which I am, but in a different way, and these girls, being skanky, never dress to accentuate, say, their eyes, but their weird tummy that’s hanging over their jeans), blonde (is that a fucking given?), and look totally vacant, like they are 14 years old. WTF? And why is it that my standards for everyone else are as high as the standards I set for myself?

Okay, I feel bad that I just refered to these blonde, large chested, short-skirted girls as vacant, becaues they may infact be more intelligent than I, but it just seems like maybe they’d try a little harder to be noticed for their grace and other positive, esteem enhancing qualities, rather than “Hey, I know, you don’t know whether to look at my exposed breasts or picture my ankles through my gigantic hoop earings. But don’t worry, I intend on standing here, looking cute, all day.”

Fuck that. I think I’d rather be single than be judged by cool people like myself.

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Entry filed under: , rants.

Cycling vs. Driving … set the mood:my favorite game – the cardigans In love with Trent Reznor? And why not… set the mood: Wish – NIN

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