An Open Letter to Canada Post Corporation/Société canadienne des postes… set the mood: bigmouth strikes again – the smiths

July 12, 2006 at 2:46 pm Leave a comment

Dear Sirs or Madams,

It appears that you have fucked up once again.

Although I am writing this on behalf of another, and have not personally experienced this terrible postage misconduct directly, it does not mean that I have no grievances with you at all. I am writing with all the passion and disdain of one who has gone through far too much at the hands of the Canadian Postal system.

Do you use your own system, Sir? Do you understand the trust that is involved when one licks that stamp and sends it down into the dark abiss that is those ugly mailboxes? (On a side note: I don’t understand what it is you people were trying to achieve with those new boxes. Going for urban chic, were you? They look like they’ve been vandalized. What is it about black and blue spray paint reminds you people of Canada?)

So the problem this time is that this friend Olive*, sent a package to her partner, Guy*, in Manitoba. This package was highly valuable for Guy, since it was a sheath for all of his belongings so that he may ship them home from grape picking*.

Canada Post Corporation/Societe Canadienne des Postes PROMISED to ship the package in 3 days, if given a little something-something for encouragement. This PROMISE should have been adhered to, considering the additional payment was transacted, however, 9 days later, the package has not arrived. The package may in fact be lost.

A PROMISE or AGREEMENT is an assurance that someone will or will not do something, a VOW as such. And yet, it seems, yet again Canada Post Corporation has fallen down on its word.

SHENANIGANS are deceitful words intended to deceive.

TOMFOOLERY is defined as foolish behaviour.

So, Olive was given a SHENANIGAN in the guise of a PROMISE and rather than this PROMISE being fulfilled, she paid good money for simple TOMFOOLERY, which I could have supplied myself, for no fee whatsoever.

Really, Sirs, how is it that Guy is expected to return home from Grape Picking to his lovely Olive if he cannot pack his personal belongings into the lovely new duffles Olive has sent to him? Now he shall miss his bus, which means he will miss his plane, and his transportation costs have doubled, AND he’ll have to hang out in Butt-fuck Nowhere, Manitoba for god knows how long, only to return home late for the wedding he is expected to attend this weekend. Sirs, have you no shame?

You know what a MONOPOLY is? It is BULLSHIT.
Perhaps in the future, you should focus more on the CANADA POST part of your Crown Corporation Name, rather than putting the emphasis on the C word.

Sincerely,
Megan O’Connor

* Names have been changed for protection.

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Entry filed under: , An Open Letter To....

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