An Open Letter to Concert Goers… set the mood: gold soundz – pavement

July 15, 2006 at 4:25 am 2 comments

Re: Metric Concert, Friday July 2006


Please keep the following in mind during future attendances:

1. Leave children at home.
Children are truly the future. They are lovely little beings, full of joy and hope in tiny, and generally adorable, packages. The whole child situation is fascinating. However, I do not think that any kind of concert scene is an appropriate place for children, least of which would be on the shoulders of the man standing in front of me, creating a fully obstructed view. I’m sorry, but I recall my ticket saying “general admission”, not “obstructed by a small child who will never remember this experience.” Christ, it was hot, the crowd was packed in like olives, and I couldn’t seen a damn thing — it was literally like when I ride a crowded bus to school listening to Metric on my iPod.

2. Note your environment.
Has anyone ever noticed that the further from the stage one is situated, the calmer, more chill the audience is? It doesn’t mean the guys as the back don’t dig the show, but that their enthusiasm is more leveled and controlled. Ever notice how no matter how chill the little area you are in, there is always this one fanatic who is totally crazy wild with the arms and the legs going everywhere? Too crazy about the band to show some restraint, yet not crazy enough to elbow their way to the stage where all the other crazies are. This I don’t understand. Please take note that your arm flailing could potentially collide with someone’s face. Then that person would scream “your elbow hit me in the eye, you son of a b! I’d like to cut your f-ing head off and wear it as a hat!”

3. Please, don’t sing.
I understand that people like singing to their favorite music. I personally love singing, but I do so in the comfort of my own home, for the safety of other ears. When one attends a concert, they go so that they can hear the performers, not the obnoxious girl behind them who is singing along to every word. Didn’t really feel like I was seeing a Metric concert, since I couldn’t see the stage and I could only hear some strange chick singing — might as well have been at a kareoke bar.

4. Don’t bring large, heavy bags.
This is my fault. I should have left my bag at work, or in someones car. It really weighed me down, like trying to dance with a boulder chained to my foot. Or was that just my lack of enthusiasm?

5. Drink heavily.
Again, my fault. Should have started drinking at work, then my drunken stupor would have enabled me to ignore the above retraints. Unfortunately, these were not conditions underwhich I could actually enjoy myself.

6. Don’t talke loudly about how this concert is good, but the last one was so wicked good.
I think this one speaks for itself. It’s just unfair to the people who couldn’t attend the last show for reasons we shant mention.



Entry filed under: , An Open Letter To..., rants.

An Open Letter to Canada Post Corporation/Société canadienne des postes… set the mood: bigmouth strikes again – the smiths Men

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