ZOMBIES – Pt. 1 When there’s no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth… set the mood: the bells of hell – kevin quain

July 31, 2007 at 5:51 pm 1 comment


I’ve never written about them. After seeing Dawn of the Dead for the first time, I wrote a short story about myself and my friends and our attempt to escape a zombie appocalypse by hiding in a mall. Brilliant, I put a real spin on the story by making one friend some kind of supernatural zombie (if that makes any sense at all) who could hunt the rest of us methodically rather than through a mindless, animal instinct. One particularly gruesome scene involved an escalator. Brilliant.

Since then, I don’t write about zombies. Why would I decide to turn my talents towards something far less exciting and peckish? Honestly, the zombie genre has a canon that is far too clear and I don’t think that I could, without the help of someone who is well aquainted with comics and mythology, create something that I would consider original. In all honesty, until Planet Terror, I thought it was a dead genre.

Rather than go over the same old stuff, I’m going to just skim over my favorites with a brief description of why they are great, then get on to reviewing the crap…

1. Planet Terror – Yes, I actually list this as my favorite zombie film. It’s disgusting, clever, sexy, and somewhat nerve racking. It’s everything a zombie film should be and more. Rodriguez has done a service to amputees. I know I’d do Rose McGowan with a wooden leg.

2. Shaun of the Dead – Yes, I listed an homage as my second favorite. It’s because I could watch this again and again. It’s light, it’s quick, it’s funny, it’s british. I can’t resist.

3. Dawn of the Dead – There we go. This is third because as much as I love it, it’s quite long, and when I think “must have zombie fix” I think of Shaun. BUT this is a masterpiece in it’s own right, a fantastic social commentary, and excellently bloody for the time period. Gotta love that Nurse Zombie.

4. 28 Days Later – Brilliant. The visual of London completely deserted is eerie as hell. Not gonna lie, initially though Danny Boyle copped out by breeding Dawn with Lord of the Flies… Still think that’s what the film is, but at least it wasn’t Zombie II meets Porky’s…

5. Dead Alive – Man, I don’t have anything bad to say about LOTH except that they are too long, but that’s not Peter Jackson’s fault. I do miss that Jackson doesn’t make films like this one anymore. Greatest moment: Lawnmowing a zombie party. Guh-ross! OR the mother’s ear falling off her head into her soup.

6. Cemetery Man – I much prefer the original title Dellamorte Dellamore simply because it sounds far more beautiful. And who doesn’t want their zombie movie to have a little romance? I like this one because Rupert Everet plays this grumpy, misunderstood, sexually frustrated undertaker who sits up all night waiting for the dead to rise. Best moments: Grave sex and Gnaghi’s romance with a zombi head.

7. The Evil Dead – I actually don’t automatically categorize this film with the typical zombie film (hence its place at a solid 7), but it really is. Sort of. This was the only film I actually couldn’t watch straight through on the first run. I’m a hard-ass when it comes to scary movies; no clutching to anyone for me (cuddling is better anyway), but this one… I had to stop it half way through and finish it the next morning, in the kitchen, with my dad šŸ˜›

End of list (because 7 is the perfect number). Damn, I hope these zombie posts improve cause this one is a head-shaker…


Entry filed under: , Reviews (more ranting).

So tired… let rambling ensue… set the mood: ugh… the rhythmic sound of my snoring. ZOMBIES – Pt. 2 Braaiinnnnsss… set the mood: the sounds of Oktobre fest sausage eating contest

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Andrew Bradshaw z  |  December 26, 2011 at 5:24 am

    I like Frontalotā€ s sound, and his geek rhythmic flow is something to behold, but I couldnā€ t understand what he was saying.


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